Everyone knows the best part of a new season of Real Housewives is examining all of their ludicrous taglines. Some of them are actually really good,( ahem, all of Lisa Vanderpump’s) but most of them are cringeworthy, the same sort of thing over and over, or straight-up embarrassing. Like, how many of them say something along the lines of” I live in this city, it is my municipal”( I convey , no sh* t) or,” I have a family that is important “? However, the bland ones cancel each other out, and I went on a mission to find some of the worst taglines of all time. Satisfy add ones you deride in the comments. There were so many good/ bad ones that it was tough to opt!
Erika Girardi, Beverly Hills, Season 6
What the actual f* ck is this? It represents literally nothing. I think she’s supposed to be referencing this World War II speech from Winston Churchill, saying Russia’s actions are” a question wrap in mystery inside an enigma “. First of all, the hell is wordy, but it at least realizes sense. But for a Housewives tagline, this is a bizarre thing to draw inspo from, to put it mildly. I will give Erika this: she is definitely an mystery. But in more of a what-drugs-is-this-woman-taking direction.( Honestly, the same could be said of many of the Housewives .)
Jo De La Rosa, Orange County, Season 1
Oh my God, does Orange County have some of the worst Housewives taglines, especially from Season 1! I roughly did Kimberly Bryant’s, where she says” 85% of women in OC have breast implant”, but I’m from there, and that is unfortunately true-life. I call it the OC Special to get the same tit and nose as everybody else, because they all go to the same three surgeons, so it’s like attack of the clones. It’s a frightening neighbourhood. Anyway, speaking of sinister, I departed with Jo’s, because this tagline is so creepy-crawly, with or without situation. Considering Slimeball Slade was supporting Jo hostage during their relationship, all I can think is, he’s obstructing you where, his cellar? Thankfully, Jo peaced the f* ck out of that one, and in a enjoyable karmic twist, Slade is now undermine and is Gretchen Rossi’s bitch.
Melissa Gorga, New Jersey, Season 8
Okay, so this is supposed to be a pun because her attire supermarket is appointed Envy. But like, Mel, do you know the meaning of the word jealousy? That’s just … not how it acts. You cannot envy yourself. The knowledge that I even have to explain this to you tells me that you did not have a clear grasp on the definition contained in this utterance when you decided to dedicate your professional life to it. I find this VERY ANNOYING.
Alexis Bellino, Orange County, Season 6
Oh, Jesus Jugs herself. All of her taglines were frightenings, but this one is the worst by far. Like, first of all, your person is plastic. Likewise, your “king” was a creep who left you. Likewise, it is soooooooooooooo creepy to usage God and a sex innuendo in the same sigh. Please stop. I also genuinely hate super religious people who are like,” God can do no mistaken, but let me cut up my whole figure and replenish it with silicone suitcases because it wasn’t good enough .”( Again, I bring you Orange County .)
Joyce Giraud, Beverly Hills, Season 4
This one is just f* cking yikes all around. Has Joyce heard of compulsive eating? It doesn’t help that I once detested,* HATED* her, but how asinine can you be? Especially in LA, where people are always trying to get thinner in unhealthy channels( maladies, surgery, remedies ), like perhaps have a teeny part of social awareness? I feel like the producers would certainly not cause this one slip in 2019. Also,” you can never be too young “? Like yes, you are able to, just ask R. Kelly.
Kristen Taekman, New York City, Season 6
Why are so many of the worst Housewives taglines from season 6? It’s just a dark era if you start that far in a establish, I guess?( CC: Vanderpump Rules .)This is actually what I would consider THE WORST TAGLINE OF ALL TIME. I symbolize, wow, what a time for feminism with this geek walking around. Even more concerning, she has a daughter. I could not guess when I listened this. Extremely because Kristen says it in like a whiny, quirky practice. Like,” but I’m PREEEEEEEETTTTYYYY”, like she’s talking to a small child who has had one of the purposes of their psyche removed. Or maybe like she is the small child with one of the purposes of her mentality removed. But she’s preeeeeeettttty.
Images: NBCU; Giphy( 6)